Of late, I have focused a lot on lists, which is great because in many cases the points are already summarized. Lists are often useful, as in the case of this one by Jeff Haden, "10 Ways to Develop Your Exceptional Charisma." I wonder when he'll figure out I keep "borrowing" his wonderful material? :)
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- Listen way more than you talk.
- Ask questions. Maintain eye contact. Smile. Respond, just non-verbally.
- Don't offer advice unless asked.
- Only speak when you have something important - to the other person - to say.
- Don't practice selective hearing.
- Listen closely to everyone. Make everyone feel on the level, like you have something in common with them.
- Always put your stuff away.
- Don't focus on phones, monitors, etc. You can't connect with others if you're busy connecting with your stuff.
- Always give before you receive - knowing you may never receive.
- Never think about what you can get, focus on what you can provide.
- Don't act self-important...
- The only people impressed by pretentiousness are pretentious people.
- ...since you know other people are important.
- You already know what you know - you can't learn new stuff from yourself.
- You don't know what others know - they are people you can learn from.
- Shine the spotlight on others
- Make sure you know when others do well, and be sure to tell them they did well.
- Choose your attitude and your words
- Your words affect others' attitudes, as well as your own.
- You don't "have to" do something - you "get to" do it.
- Don't discuss the failings of others...
- Don't laugh at other people. When you do, the people around you wonder if you sometimes laugh at them too.
- Everyone may like gossip, but no one respects a gossiper.
- ...but readily admit your own failings.
- You have to be genuine to be charismatic.
- Be humble. Share your screw-ups. Admit your mistakes and be the lesson learned.
- Laugh at yourself, and others will laugh with you, not at you.
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